I was supposed to come back yesterday to tell you what I chose from the other day's blog, but instead I wanted to leave you (all 3 of you reading this) in anxious agony.
Just kidding. I forgot.
So, which option did I go with? Well. I went with option B and C, kind of. I chose to dose her again for the full amount of carbs, because I was pretty sure her body got little to no insulin from that bad site. Option C felt right because I felt deep down that she might not have gotten all of the insulin, but that she would still go low with the little bit she had on board, PLUS the second 7 units I had her dose. I had her eat a banana to counter that nagging feeling, and, I figured we could always fix a low much easier if she had a banana to help cover some of the insulin, and bananas are healthy and stuff, so why not. It was pretty scary seeing the 14 units active IOB (insulin on board) in her pump. It gave me heart palpitations. I knew I’d be watching her Dexcom like a hawk and ready to pounce on any fast drops or spikes.
I feel like I’ve constantly got my finger on the trigger when it comes to diabetes. Thankfully we have the Dexcom that allows me to see where she’s going, and, we have Porter who does a damn good job of letting us know when there’s a problem. Between the two of those tools, I’m usually able to prevent scary situations from happening, but, not always.
There’s always that margin of error, right?
Not bad, eh? In fact, this is probably the best line she’s ever had after eating cereal. Usually it spikes her pretty high, but, every day is different.
Now, remember this was with the banana helping to cover some of that insulin...in other words, she probably would’ve gone low without the banana, so, that little gut feeling was spot on. At times I haven’t listened to that inner voice and I’m always regretting it, so, it was good I decided to listen this time. It probably covered at least 2 units of the insulin she dosed the second time around.
So, if you were able to choose correctly, congrats! If you chose wrong, well, that’s just the life of a T1 parent. Honestly I have learned to be so in tune with Hannah’s body most times that it has become easier just understanding how she will react to things. That being said, I’ve been wrong many many many times, so I’m not boasting 100% accuracy. I’m just saying it’s gotten easier.
Back when she was first diagnosed I remember thinking “how the hell am I supposed to do this? I’m not a doctor, a nurse, or an organ!” It was daunting realizing that I was in charge of her health and well being, and for making sure she didn’t have any organ damage into adulthood.
Yeah. That’s ALL on me. No pressure.
Being the caretaker of someone with type 1 is scary. It’s overwhelming. It’s stressful. My body is in a constant state of fight or flight, but don’t assume that means I’ll run if confronted with a fight. Hell no. On the contrary, I'm so sleep deprived and pissed off all the time that I’ll start swinging, so you best duck! My body is always sore from being tensed up, I don’t sleep well, and, my depression and anxiety is stupid...stupider than it’s ever been. Honestly I don’t know how I’ve managed to keep my shit together for this long.
I want to challenge all my readers out there, those that aren’t parents of a type 1, to start keeping count of all the carbs your kids eat. If it’s not listed on a box, Google it. Make your best educated guess. Do this for 48 hours.
When you are counting those carbs, remember that if your child was insulin dependent, every carb you do or don’t cover for affects their blood sugars. You could make them go high. You could make them go low. On rare occasions, you’ll get it perfect and they will stay steady...those are the times we celebrate the most. Also take into account that depending on the day, where the moon phase is, what their hormones are doing, what the weather is, if they are getting sick, if they just exercised, or if they parted their hair to the right verses the left, ALL these things affect the outcome. I’m not joking. Every little thing affects BGs. Your pancreas makes adjustments for these things, but, when you ARE the pancreas, you have to try and guess what will happen.
So, that’s my challenge. Count carbs for one child for 48 hours. Email me if you do this. I’d love to have your thoughts. Maybe I’ll post a follow up blog with your comments.