February 23, 2017
10. Sitting on a cracked toilet seat hurts. I don't recommend it.
9. Saying sorry when you don't actually intend to change your actions in any way is bull shit.
8. Automatic defensive behavior when someone confronts you about something is an automatic sign that you know you are in the wrong, even just a little bit. Just sayin'.
7. Having a phobia of puke is a real thing.
6. Crackers when you have any type of stomach upset doesn't do much to help that. Who started that lie?
5. Curly hair on toddlers is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE.
4. Dr. Pepper is the best carbonated drink and there's nothing you can say to make me think differently.
3. Lab farts; they need no explanation.
2. I argue with toddlers for a living; I can go all day #youwontwin
1. Nap often.
Bonus: Don't be a dick.